(1) INT. GALACTICA – SICK BAY
Ishay: Sorry, Felix. He’s backed up today, but he shouldn’t be much longer.
Gaeta: No problem. At least the Cylons are having fun, right? I mean, Earth’s a cinder, Dee’s dead, suicides are up, the Fleet’s a mess, the President’s missing in action, but, hey, gotta make sure the Cylons are taken care of.
Ishay: Rub this into the skin. It’ll help with the drying and the chapping, all right?
Gaeta: No, no, frak. I’ve gone through two jars of that stuff already. It doesn’t do anything. The end cap needs to be refitted. I already told him, it’s too high on one side, but he won’t listen.
Ishay: Yeah. I’m sorry, Felix. I’m really sorry. Look, I promise I will get you in there as soon as I can. It’s just been crazy.
Tyrol: I need help! I need help!
Ishay: It’s busy today, Chief.
Tyrol: He’s peeing blood.
Ishay: It’s gonna be a while. Get him to bed three. I’ll go and get the doctor.
[Ishay walks past Gaeta and then doubles back]
Ishay: Wait. Sorry.
Gaeta: No problem. Can’t keep those toasters waiting.
(2) INT. GALACTICA – ADAMA’S QUARTERS
Tyrol: The feeling on the Baseship is that we’d rather take our chances with you than risk running into Cavil’s forces alone.
Tigh: “We”?
Tyrol: Yeah. We, the Cylons. That description fit anyone around here you know?
Adama: Have this discussion another time. What about the FTL question?
Tyrol: It’s possible. It’s labor-intensive, a lot of grunt work, but we should be able to upgrade all the jump drives in the entire Fleet with Cylon technology.
Apollo: It’s not gonna be easy to sell the Quorum on this one.
Tigh: Frak the Quorum.
Apollo: These are civilian ships. What are you going to do? Upgrade their engines at gunpoint? We need the Quorum to get civilian cooperation.
Adama: All right. What will it take to get the Quorum to sign off?
Apollo: Well, the first issue’s gonna be whether we can make these upgrades with Galactica personnel only. It’s one thing to accept Cylon technology. It’s quite another to have actual Cylons aboard their ships.
Tyrol: I barely understand this stuff. And I’m… We are gonna need teams of Sharons and Sixes, possibly Leobens, just to do the installations.
Apollo: They’ll go nuts.
Helo: We gotta sell them on it. Point out the benefits. Athena tells me the upgrade should triple the Fleet’s jump capacity.
Tyrol: Absolutely. And that’s conservative. Their technology… Our technology is way ahead of ours. Yours.
Tigh: Maybe you’d like a chart to keep it all straight.
Adama: What do you think?
Apollo: Well… Tripling jump capacity triples our chances of finding a habitable planet before we run out of food and fuel. That I might be able to sell.
Gaeta: What’s the catch? ‘Cause there is a catch, right, former Chief?
Tyrol: We wanna be part of the Fleet, not just along for the ride. Full members, citizens, seat at the Quorum, the whole thing.
Helo: What?
Tigh: Are you insane?
Tyrol: Un-negotiable. You want Cylon technology, we want safety in case Cavil’s forces arrive. Now if we’re citizens, your oath states that you protect us, just like everybody else.
Apollo: And the other Cylons, they really think that that will guarantee your safety?
Tyrol: Yes, they do. I’ve convinced them that the Admiral takes these sorts of things very seriously, that he would rather lose the Fleet than break the oath.
Tigh: Unlike certain other people.
Tyrol: Unlike certain other people.
Adama: I understand the argument. It makes sense from their perspective.
Gaeta: You’re not seriously thinking about this?
Tigh: “Sir.”
Gaeta: You’re not seriously thinking about this, sir?
Adama: All options are on the table, Mr. Gaeta. This is a political decision. We’ll have to run it by the President. Thank you all.
* (3) INT. GALACTICA – HALLWAY
* Helo: Galen, how’s your boy?
* Tyrol: Yeah, we don’t know.
* Helo: Well, you’ll both be in our prayers.
(4) INT. GALACTICA – SICK BAY
Cottle: Acute renal failure. I think we caught it in time to manage with dialysis. However, there is a chance that this could lead to chronic renal failure. And if that happens, he’s gonna lose a kidney.
Tyrol: What’s the next step? What do I do? Do I give some blood, build up a supply?
Ishay: Well, we have enough of his type in the blood bank.
Tyrol: He’s half Cylon. You got a lot of half-Cylon blood just lying around, do you?
Cottle: No, no, you’re right. I hadn’t thought about that. We should tap a vein and start a supply right away.
Ishay: This is ridiculous. You have to tell him!
Cottle: Ishay!
Tyrol: Tell me what?
Ishay: This little boy could die! His father should know.
Cottle: Ishay, zip it!
Tyrol: What the hell is she talking about?
Cottle: (to Ishay) We’ll talk about this later. (to Tyrol) I guess you better come with me.
Ishay: Hey, buddy. How’s it going? Daddy’s just gone …
Cottle: All right. This is gonna be a shock. But I want you to know that I was bound by doctor-patient confidentiality in this. Even though she’s dead now, it still applied.
Tyrol: Cally. You’re talking about Cally. What the frak does she… I’m not his father, am I?
Cottle: I’m sorry. She found out she was pregnant just before you got married. She wasn’t sure that you were the father. She wanted me to terminate the pregnancy. The procedure is illegal, but there are ways around it. However, she decided to keep it. Then later on she asked me to do a paternity test because she wanted to know.
Tyrol: And it wasn’t me.
Cottle: (shakes his head ‘no’)
Tyrol: Who?
Cottle: He doesn’t know, either. And I’ll be damned if he’s gonna find out that he’s a father from a pissed-off former deck chief with a Cylon chip on his shoulder. No, I’ll have to tell him. I’ll tell him, and then the two of you can work it out on your own.
Tyrol: Take care of him.
Cottle: Great.
(5) INT. GALACTICA – HANGAR DECK
***** TYROL NOT IN THIS SCENE *****
Adama: You’ve got to get a hold of this deck.
Figurski: Yes, sir. I’m sorry, sir, but what can I do? I’ve got 20 men sick, I’m working double crews…
Adama: Your people are not sick, they’re reporting sick. It’s a dodge, a way to stay in bed, and you know it.
Figurski: Yes, sir.
Adama: You used to pull the same crap when Tyrol ran this place.
Figurski: Yes, sir. I mean, no, sir…
Adama: Ten birds. Ten off-line. This frakking cannot happen! Not on my ship! Frak! Now you listen to me, Figurski. You put on the biggest pair of boots you got, and you go down there and you shove them up their ass. Do you got me? You get your crew up here! And I want this place cleaned up! It looks like a garbage scow. Get out of my sight!
Figurski: Yes, sir.
(6) INT. GALACTICA – CULT HQ
***** TYROL IS IN THIS SCENE. NO DIALOGUE *****
[Tyrol is listening to Baltar speak]
Baltar: … only to have paradise cruelly smashed to bits before our very eyes
(7) INT. GALACTICA – CULT HQ
[Continued from previous scene. Tyrol is listening to Baltar speak]
Baltar: Perhaps we are not the ones in need of forgiveness. Perhaps we’re not. Perhaps we have been wronged. Yes. That’s right. Perhaps it is God who should come down here and beg for our forgiveness! Am I right? Am I right? Then shout it to God! What have you done for me lately? ….
[Tyrol spots Hotdog across the room and walks towards him]
Baltar: … Where have you been? There is a disease aboard the ship, and it is a disease of denial! Am I right? Well, don’t tell me. Shout it to God!
[Hotdog starts walking towards Tyrol]
Hotdog: Cottle told me. I didn’t know. We need… We should talk.
[Tyrol nods. Then punches Hotdog. The two men start fighting]
Tyrol: (screaming at someone trying to pry him off Hotdog) Get off me!
(8) INT. GALACTICA – CULT HQ
***** TYROL IS IN THIS SCENE. NO DIALOGUE *****
[The fighting continues. Baltar sits back having a cigarette]
(9) INT. GALACTICA – SICK BAY
Hotdog: I don’t know anything about being a father.
Tyrol: It sucks. Except for the parts that don’t.
* Hotdog: He won’t even know who I am.
* Tyrol: He barely knows who I am. Don’t worry. We’ll make it work.
* Hotdog: “We”?
* Tyrol: Yeah, we. As much as I’d love to walk out that frakking door right now.
Tyrol: All right. Lessons in parenting. [Tyrol moves a chair behind Hotdog] Sit. If your kid’s in the hospital, you never leave him alone. No matter what, someone’s always here. You get first shift, Dad.
Hotdog: Wait. How long do I sit here?
Tyrol: Until I get back. That’ll be after I sober up.
* Tyrol: Don’t move from that frakking chair.
Transcript: Subs like Script